hindi ko mabilang kung ilang beses ako umiyak ngayon.

bakit?

minaltrato ako ni nanay ngayon.

trinato niya ako na parang common alipin. pinaglinis niya ako ng kubeta sa harap ng bisita niya.

pinaringgan niya ako ng maraming beses. i quote: "hah! if you want money you'd better work for it!" (then she gives my stepbrother new rubber shoes)

nagluto ako. hindi niya kinain.

hindi niya ako kinibo kung wala siyang iuutos

pinaka malala...

i-dedemolish niya ang kwarto ko... (see, i'm the kind of person that has things in places i keep things. i'm... ecclectic... ecentric.. whatever. my mess is my mess. i live in it. i love it.) she's gonna fucking redecorate my room.

now, i'm wondering... if ever she reads all these rotten things i posted.. will it thaw her heart?

personally... i don't think so.

maybe there'a a fucking good reason why all this crud is suddenly dumped in my place. but rather than make my brain tired and sore. i'd rather write something surreal and beautiful.

do you believe that beautiful things can be like great swords forged from anger's flames?

i do :)

today... i wanted to rush everything. but it just made me feel worse. i wanted everything to move in warp speed so i can sleep and get over the day.

and the more i rushed, the slower the pace seemed to progress.

but when i heard this song. i just smiled. and i told myself. as long as i'll get over tomorrow. and enjoy whatever... ok na yun!

ika nga ng BMR... dahan dahan sa lahat! lyrics tomorrow!

~~~~~