the past few days have been uber hard on me. so much tears, so much pain... at higit sa lahat- napakaraming utos. akala ko dati, sa school lang ako pwedeng utusan sa maraas na paraan. may pagkabastos pa ang pag-utos saakin. walang "carinyo". walang salamat, walang pakiusap-pakiusap.

i'm so happy i still have a bunch of people who stand by me.

special mention:
mimi, "kenshin", kris, ate tin,... KOPS. drea, rox!, daddy roy(tatay ko talaga :D), 'ga, yaya jo, mga security guard na pinagtatawanan ng mga kapatid ni mama, migs, "ikaw"... salamat sa pakikiramay sa akin.

nagimbal ako kung maisip ko na may pangalan akong hindi ilalagay dito... para kasi sa "ibang tao" mababaw ang problema ko.

would you belive what he told me:
"you don't need comfort. you need to face the truth. i don't comfort people. i tell them what's right."

would your own "confidant" tell you that while you're crying? mine did. it broke my heart. but at least i know who are my real friends.

here's a conversation (chat): people involved me and my ed-in chief when i was in high school... drea... whom i love :D
aeolian_veramiel: tsk
aeolian_veramiel: this is something i really can't comprehend
kang: i think she hates me
kang: i don't know why
aeolian_veramiel: ur depressing me
aeolian_veramiel: tskkang: i'm sorry
kang: you don't have to sympathize
aeolian_veramiel: ugh i am such an idealist sumtyms... then i get exposed to these things and bama
eolian_veramiel: nah i can't help it
kang: everything will work out somehow
aeolian_veramiel: hahaha
aeolian_veramiel: funny now it's like you're consoling me
kang: alam mo
kang: i tell myself when she's like that
kang: the easiest thing to do is to not care
kang: and cowards always take the easy way out
kang: they'd rather enjoy the destination than the journey
aeolian_veramiel: good thing you're not suicidal
aeolian_veramiel: gosh
kang: at times. i want to
kang: but there's so much of life to enjoy
kang: diba?
aeolian_veramiel: a lot of the people i'm with are like that
aeolian_veramiel: makes me want to kill em
aeolian_veramiel: hahah
aeolian_veramiel: yeah
aeolian_veramiel: plenty plent
aeolian_veramiel: *plenty

------------>
what i can't forget was what my kabarkada kris told me.. she told me to keep swimming no matter what happens. she's right.

and that's what i'll do,

just swim :) i have the people who really care about me.

that's comforting enough.

~~~~~